Cyn's Rabbit Hole
Random Thoughts by CokeyCyn
What the *%^@! was I doing at the office?
Mike was laid to rest on Thursday. I made the decision three days before, looking at my work calendar, that I couldn't go.
And today, i read Adel's beautiful account of Mike's funeral on his Journal, and I realized that it's unforgivable that I wasn't there. Even if it was because of a full work calendar. What was I thinking?
Or maybe I was thinking too much. How the hell did I shut my heart up that easily? I felt like going but just had to glance at the full work calendar, and I didn't admit to myself that a full work calendar will never let up. Never. Honestly, even when I took three months off last year-- I had an equally full work calendar that I just decided to set aside and forget.
And it's not as if anyone in the office (really) will notice if you're not there. The day you die, they'll send out an e-mail, then clear out your desk. Maybe there'll be a service a week later, flowers at your wake, and a talk with your spouse when they hand over the insurance check. Then they'll hire your replacement and your cubicle is now someone else's. It's in everyone and everywhere else where there will be a hole that cannot be filled.
And I think ... if I thought that leaving or losing my job would cause a big a hole in my heart as a friend's passing has, then my life would be sad indeed. You know what? It's not.
Mike, I'm sorry. But I continue to pray that you be at peace. and I'll continue to pray for justice for you.
And today, i read Adel's beautiful account of Mike's funeral on his Journal, and I realized that it's unforgivable that I wasn't there. Even if it was because of a full work calendar. What was I thinking?
Or maybe I was thinking too much. How the hell did I shut my heart up that easily? I felt like going but just had to glance at the full work calendar, and I didn't admit to myself that a full work calendar will never let up. Never. Honestly, even when I took three months off last year-- I had an equally full work calendar that I just decided to set aside and forget.
And it's not as if anyone in the office (really) will notice if you're not there. The day you die, they'll send out an e-mail, then clear out your desk. Maybe there'll be a service a week later, flowers at your wake, and a talk with your spouse when they hand over the insurance check. Then they'll hire your replacement and your cubicle is now someone else's. It's in everyone and everywhere else where there will be a hole that cannot be filled.
And I think ... if I thought that leaving or losing my job would cause a big a hole in my heart as a friend's passing has, then my life would be sad indeed. You know what? It's not.
Mike, I'm sorry. But I continue to pray that you be at peace. and I'll continue to pray for justice for you.
Justice will Come.
Vic and I were having a lazy Saturday morning, doing ... nothing, as usual. And then the call came. "Vic , do you know where Mike is? Do you know anything about the shooter?"
A very confused Vic woke up really fast. What the hell are you talking about? What happened to Mike?
Photo by Kenneth
Mike was hanging out with a few friends, kuwentuhan lang, tambay ng konti, at the Shell Gas Station on Commonwealth at around midnight. A lot of people do this nowadays, since the gas stations are centrally located, easy to find, "safe" and well lit, have cold non-alcoholic drinks you can drink on the spot (it's against law for alcohol to be drunk there), and the food is cheap and hot. He was hanging out there with other members of the Toyota Car Club called Grupo Toyota. He was sitting down with them and then decided to move over to the railing, standing nearer to the street.
A Green Pajero pulled up, fired at least three seemingly random shots, then pulled off. The group was in shock and panic, and then noticed that Mike had gotten hit. One actually took off on foot after the Pajero, trying to get the license plate. Fortunately, he came back alive. Unfortunately, he didn't get the license plate.
One witness said that the Pajero was accompanied by an owner-type jeepney.
Another said that the Pajero looked like he was chasing after two Civics who had been racing down Commonwealth, and who parked in Shell just before the Pajero came up to the group. Hypothesis is that the Pajero owner might have gotten cut-off by the two civics and wanted revenge. He could have opened fire at the group in Shell after assuming that the Civic drivers were part of the group.
Another witness said that the guy had fired three groups of three to four shots each, with each group aimed at a different location. The Toyota group actually thought that it was just a car backfire daw.
I saw Shell Commonwealth. It stands on a hill and the place where you can tambay is on the ground floor. You have to drive up the hill to the back of the gas pumps to get to where Mike and them were standing, and there's nowhere to pass that's not within fifteen feet from the people. This person who opened fire had to know that it was almost certain he'd hit and kill someone. He also had to go out of his way to open fire.
Mike had gotten hit in the head. He fell where he stood and was taken to the hospital 5 minutes later, when the police came with record-breaking and eyebrow-raising speed. Sadly, he was pronounced Dead on Arrival.
This kind of violence is so sad that it almost defies words. It's hard to express how angry and sad I am, and I knew Mike mostly through Vic, and spent a few hours with him thru PhilMUG. I met his wife Donna, whose strength is amazing. I met their three children, the oldest of whom is only 8 years old. I met more of his friends who had spent countless hours with him. I read in his obituary that the man was born in 1974. He was only 30 years old.
It's sad for his family and friends who got left behind when he is so well-loved. He will be very much missed.
It's sad for people to think that getting cut off on the road at midnight is a good enough excuse to gamble other people's lives for. How self-centered, stuck-up, arrogant, self-important, and self-righteous do you have to be in order to believe that a person's life is equivalent to three seconds of being surprised at being cut-off?
It's sad for this country, when people feel that, just because they are "rich" enough to own a Pajero, or maybe powerful enough to have a few friends, or maybe connected enough to have black market guns on hand all time... it's sad for this country that people like that can feel that they can get away with senseless murder.
It's sad for all murder victims that one of the first things that a police friend will tell you is that you have to prove that the family and the family's friends have powerful media and government connections, so that the entire family is protected when you go out to look for justice --- or even ask for an investigation.
It's sad for this country when we can be relatively assured that there will be no justice in this mortal world for Mike.
But I know that there will be justice for Mike one way or another. Here in this life or in the life after, there will be justice. If the man who fired those shots is not man enough to show his face today, then he will be haunted by the memory of Mike for the rest of his life. And when that life ends, he will pay for his crime.
A very confused Vic woke up really fast. What the hell are you talking about? What happened to Mike?
Photo by Kenneth
Mike was hanging out with a few friends, kuwentuhan lang, tambay ng konti, at the Shell Gas Station on Commonwealth at around midnight. A lot of people do this nowadays, since the gas stations are centrally located, easy to find, "safe" and well lit, have cold non-alcoholic drinks you can drink on the spot (it's against law for alcohol to be drunk there), and the food is cheap and hot. He was hanging out there with other members of the Toyota Car Club called Grupo Toyota. He was sitting down with them and then decided to move over to the railing, standing nearer to the street.
A Green Pajero pulled up, fired at least three seemingly random shots, then pulled off. The group was in shock and panic, and then noticed that Mike had gotten hit. One actually took off on foot after the Pajero, trying to get the license plate. Fortunately, he came back alive. Unfortunately, he didn't get the license plate.
One witness said that the Pajero was accompanied by an owner-type jeepney.
Another said that the Pajero looked like he was chasing after two Civics who had been racing down Commonwealth, and who parked in Shell just before the Pajero came up to the group. Hypothesis is that the Pajero owner might have gotten cut-off by the two civics and wanted revenge. He could have opened fire at the group in Shell after assuming that the Civic drivers were part of the group.
Another witness said that the guy had fired three groups of three to four shots each, with each group aimed at a different location. The Toyota group actually thought that it was just a car backfire daw.
I saw Shell Commonwealth. It stands on a hill and the place where you can tambay is on the ground floor. You have to drive up the hill to the back of the gas pumps to get to where Mike and them were standing, and there's nowhere to pass that's not within fifteen feet from the people. This person who opened fire had to know that it was almost certain he'd hit and kill someone. He also had to go out of his way to open fire.
Mike had gotten hit in the head. He fell where he stood and was taken to the hospital 5 minutes later, when the police came with record-breaking and eyebrow-raising speed. Sadly, he was pronounced Dead on Arrival.
This kind of violence is so sad that it almost defies words. It's hard to express how angry and sad I am, and I knew Mike mostly through Vic, and spent a few hours with him thru PhilMUG. I met his wife Donna, whose strength is amazing. I met their three children, the oldest of whom is only 8 years old. I met more of his friends who had spent countless hours with him. I read in his obituary that the man was born in 1974. He was only 30 years old.
It's sad for his family and friends who got left behind when he is so well-loved. He will be very much missed.
It's sad for people to think that getting cut off on the road at midnight is a good enough excuse to gamble other people's lives for. How self-centered, stuck-up, arrogant, self-important, and self-righteous do you have to be in order to believe that a person's life is equivalent to three seconds of being surprised at being cut-off?
It's sad for this country, when people feel that, just because they are "rich" enough to own a Pajero, or maybe powerful enough to have a few friends, or maybe connected enough to have black market guns on hand all time... it's sad for this country that people like that can feel that they can get away with senseless murder.
It's sad for all murder victims that one of the first things that a police friend will tell you is that you have to prove that the family and the family's friends have powerful media and government connections, so that the entire family is protected when you go out to look for justice --- or even ask for an investigation.
It's sad for this country when we can be relatively assured that there will be no justice in this mortal world for Mike.
But I know that there will be justice for Mike one way or another. Here in this life or in the life after, there will be justice. If the man who fired those shots is not man enough to show his face today, then he will be haunted by the memory of Mike for the rest of his life. And when that life ends, he will pay for his crime.
This is supposed to inspire me. To what?
Coincidentally to random thoughts, this inspirational message popped into my Inbox, unbidden, today...
Friday's Inspirational Message
from Inspiration Peak
"Now
That
All your worry
Has proved such an
Unlucrative
Business,
Why
Not
Find a better
Job."
~ Hafiz
Makes ya think, ha?
Friday's Inspirational Message
from Inspiration Peak
"Now
That
All your worry
Has proved such an
Unlucrative
Business,
Why
Not
Find a better
Job."
~ Hafiz
Makes ya think, ha?
